The “d” word

Do you think about divorce?

I feel like I give and give and give with little or no return. While I realize people change, myself included, I barely recognize my husband anymore. I never ever thought I would consider it, but with him being gone for an entire month, it gave me a chance to think.

I am more of a mother/caretaker than a wife. I really enjoyed my time away from him in terms of having freedom. I am working on things, but when do you know that you’ve tried enough?

The situation has had me angry and in tears nearly every day. Without details, I mentioned to my mother that we were struggling in a number of areas, and all I got out of her was “your father and I have worked together our entire married life. Marriage is work.” I know she thinks it’s money, or me being sick, or him not working. It’s more than those, although they certainly factor in.

Are there good reasons vs. bad ones for splitting up? How do you go around feeling like a failure? Do you think trial separations really work? I don’t know that I want to be divorced, but sometimes I don’t want to be married. I’m very unhappy and think sometimes I stay because it’s easy, or I’m supposed to, or so I don’t hurt him.