One day, and then another

While I get annoyed with my husband when he reminds me to take one day at a time, I do realize the appeal of that idea.

I think, though, that I manage my life in segments. Examples:
I have to make do until I leave for Easter
I have to get through until our trip to Orlando
I have to make it to when my family visits
I have to make it through my family’s visit
I have to survive a few more weeks, when I can escape home for a few days.

I’d like to say that I was productive every day, that I made the most of it from beginning to end, but I don’t. I’ve been trying to just close a day without crying, or wanting to; Without feeling the need to yell, scream or throw something. Not that I would actually throw something.

I used to think of myself as emotional, passionate and intense. Now I feel like a small child, unable to censor myself before the emotions wreak havoc. I’m not sure if this is just an extreme version of me, or a turn around a corner I’m afraid to face.

I make promises for tomorrow, that when it gets here, I’ll be better, more patient; I’ll accomplish more. Let’s hope so.

One thought on “One day, and then another

  1. You are going through the stages of grief right now, and it is not unusual to feel the way you do. I’ve been there.
    Don’t be hard on yourself. If all you feel like doing is just existing, then that’s all you need to do.
    Everything else will be there another day…
    Just remember to breathe deeply and take each moment as it comes.

    Like

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