Material things

A few years ago, I won a camera as part of a scrapbooking contest. Worth about a grand, it was not the kind of thing I would have been able to buy myself at the time. I was proud of myself for winning and thrilled to finally have a digital SLR.

I ebayed it this past week. My financial situation has been tough, and a couple hundred dollars is the difference between losing my things (still stored in another city) and keeping them. Between being able to breathe for another few weeks without the car finance company calling everyday and cringing when the phone rings.

Still, I feel as if I have lost a limb.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, my then husband had been laid just off 8 weeks prior. Within a few weeks, I qualified for a state program for those under or uninsured. Still, medical bills were incapacitating. I ended up selling anything of value. In leaving Tennessee, I left lots of my belongings behind – simply because I needed to be mobile and he was staying put.

The things I own now that are worth anything are few. I have my car, my clothes, some jewelry, an ipod, enough paperwork / files to choke a horse, and in storage, a shitload of scrapbook stuff, pictures, kitchen stuff and other odds and ends. Most of the things that belong to me aren’t worth anything to anyone, and I am ok with that, but at times, I miss having stuff and buying stuff.

Can’t sell the car, as it was just financed last summer. I can’t bring myself to sell the rings unless and until I get completely desperate. If I did, I’d keep the solitaire, and sell the setting. How often does a girl get diamonds? I’m pretty certain that there won’t be any more in my future.

I know selling it will make the next two weeks or so a little easier – as now things are current – but I hate that I no longer have a way to document things, and that I have given up something I both earned and won.

2 thoughts on “Material things

  1. Sending you *hugs* and positive thoughts that you find a good job soon.

    As an aside, I love the new template. It’s so fresh and crisp.


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