Last night, as we headed to bed shortly after 8pm, I told him I was afraid that the switch to days may have been a mistake. That it seems we see each other less, and on average, there’s less time for fooling around.
He deflated; I felt his body start to heave. He feels this might be a mistake at work, new coworkers, more bullshit to deal with. He’s afraid I was giving up on him, because he and I both know he can’t change back his schedule at this point.
I immediately regretted letting the words slip from my mouth. I never want him to think I’ve given up on him. Everyone before me has, family, friends, lovers; and so it would kill me to do that to him as well. I don’t know that days was a bad choice, or that it means less time for us in the long run. I know he’s adjusting to the change in schedule, as I am, and that my job nonsense is affecting us as well. We may will figure out a balance as time moves forward.