All I wanted for Christmas…

I made a list for my secret santa at work, and the member of my family who picked my name and needed suggestions. I made one for my parents, but I never made one for him.

I know it’s petty and childish, but I am a little pouty.

We agreed to not do Christmas until later, when I returned from NY. That we could do it on New Years, or maybe afterwards. I didn’t buy anything ahead of time, and though I thought about ideas, I didn’t act on them. That was fine, it was costing a lot to go home and I wanted to make sure I had money while I was there. I figured I’d worry about it when I got back to SLC.

When I got home, he showed me that he went and had my oil changed. I really appreciated that because it was overdue, and I had asked him to do so and then forgotten to leave him money. It was a nice treat and I was grateful because I hate doing car shit.

Instead of buying presents and wrapping them, he wanted to just go shopping with each other. I balked at that, because I wanted an actual Christmas type thing.  But, we went shopping and I ended up buying him the things I had planned on – a new wallet, a calendar and putting a gift card I had towards some new jeans – after all.

I didn’t get a present.

I shouldn’t care, but I do.

He says it’s hard; that he doesn’t know what I would like, what I wanted, and so on. I guess I am hard, since plenty of family and friends have told me this before. But, after being my close friend for more than a year and dating for the better part of one, I thought he’d have some ideas.

I’m letting it go now. I don’t want to hold a grudge or carry a resentment, but I want to make sure I got it off my chest somehow.

talk to me

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