November 4th

There’s not a parade, no holiday pay and the banks are open. It’s just a Thursday, it’s not special to everybody. But, it’s special to me. It’s the only day of the year I can claim is all about me, even if it also belongs to thousands of other people.

I could remember it as the day it snowed hard and I didn’t have to go to school, or the day a schoolmate planned a party and so no one came to mine. I could remember it as the day I got my first pair of panties (as opposed to undies) or the day I got flowers for the first time. Many years later, it became the first time I got flowers from someone other than my father.

Today, I slept in a little, made myself some coffee and opened a present from my parents. Read my emails and tweets and smiled at how lucky I am.

My life hasn’t always been easy, but for every struggle, I’ve had a blessing. I could list the hardships, but I’d have to list the things I’m grateful for as well. They may not always go hand in hand, but life isn’t neatly packaged like that. My birthday wish for myself is to continue life this way. Recognizing that it’s not all bad and taking advantage of the good.

I wish to be able to see the good in myself as well, to not be so hard on me.  To see myself the way those who love me see me.  I wish for all the wonderful things life has to offer, not just for me, but for those around me. I wish to continue to experience joy, love, passion, friendship and to give them in reciprocation where I can. I wish for happiness and for the ability to acknowledge it.

I wish for a life full of laughter and smiles, bursting with desire and affection, wrapped in kindness and love.

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