I’m not good at holding back. I am good at letting him have some control.
I tend to be the control freak in the relationship. I need to know what’s happening, I need to
make be a part of the decisions. So, when I have the opportunity to hand myself over to him, to be quiet and willing, I do.
He takes the rope in his hand while I get undressed. He practices his knots and the decorative way the rope wraps around me. He turns me and lifts my hands as he needs to make the ties correctly. When he’s finished, I feel no need to struggle. I enjoy the feeling of being bound.
I enjoy watching him be in charge. I delight in seeing the aggressor inside rise to the surface periodically. I revel in this play, this chance to let go.