At times, life scares you.

I do well in a crisis. I try to assess the situation, see if there’s some way for me to help. I triage the situation like I’ve been trained to triage crises professionally.

If the person you love is in severe pain, sick and shaking, you don’t think, you act. You move quickly to get them help; to get them on the road to feeling better.

But later, when you’re back at work and he’s out of the immediate danger, resting, you breathe out a ragged breath and try not to cry.

At times, life scares you.

At times, it’s scary in a way that makes you laugh at how frightened you were. Most people experience this with haunted houses and roller coasters.  For me, those things are terrifying.

So was this.

I know he’s just a man, but any sign of his mortality frightens me. I briefly realize that my father was the age D is now when he first started all his health problems and that brings me to the precipice of tears.

Him looking like death warmed over is something I can go a long time without, after this morning.

3 thoughts on “Frightened

  1. I know this feeling to a certain extent. It’s almost like you are responding to sheer exhaustion. I’m thinking of you guys


  2. I’m so sorry for your terrifying experience. The only thing I think I’ve come close to being that terrified was when my husband was in pain from his appendix, before we knew what it was. When my husband is ready to see a doctor, I know it is serious.
    I hope everything is getting better and you’re not frightened anymore.


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