I know we’re months away from the holiday season, but I got a call over the weekend from my mother.
My dad’s extended family still gathers together on Christmas eve to celebrate, even though the family has grown and multiplied. The original 7 kids all had kids and their kids have kids (well, except my parents who are still yet to be blessed with grandchildren, much to their chagrin). But, the aunt and uncle who have hosted this since my grandparents passed, have decided this is the last year. Much debate has been had, but no one is taking it over.
So, this year, a tradition going on since my father was a child, will end. The darkened living room, the radio and tree lights on a timer, the huddling in the kitchen waiting for Santa to stop by will be the last time.
My mother asked me to come home.
Two years ago, I spent Christmas in NY without D, though I didn’t go to Christmas eve, since I got in at midnight. I didn’t go home last year. I haven’t been to this family event since 2007 actually. My mother wants me there since it’s the end of an era. I can’t blame her, since this is the last big Christmas, I would like to be there.
As I was before though, I’m torn. D cannot travel at the holidays, the time off is blacked out around the holidays. So, if I go to NY, it means I won’t get to spend the holiday time with him. I also can’t take much time because of the new job, so I’d be traveling the major days everyone else is, the 22nd to the 26th. I don’t even like to think about how expensive this trip would be.
I want to make a good decision, but I have a hard time committing to one.