split

I’ve just returned from a week long visit home.

Each and every time I go back there, I find it more difficult to come home. I feel like my heart is split in two. I want to be close to those I love, both D and family. We rarely get time off together at the same time, making visits a solo adventure. I have to choose whom to spend the holidays with, him or them, because they can’t afford to travel, or they can’t travel safely with their health issues. I can’t ask him to go with me because of black out travel days at his work.

I sometimes wish we could relocate, not necessarily right where my family is, but maybe close enough to drive in a day.

I tweeted this the other day, and it keeps ringing in my head. “I wish my two homes weren’t so far apart, both pieces of my heart so far away from one another.”

With my dad still doing so poorly and my family struggling, I wish I could be closer; or in two places at once.