I want to learn guitar.
I have songs inside me that I want to get out. I feel better when I can sing, especially so at full volume.
I have this inner melancholy and heartbreak that lingers with me, throughout the good and bad times. I can never seem to shake it completely, there’s just something about sad songs that soothes me, no matter what is happening.
I want to sing them, loudly. I want to get them out of my system. I want to grip and strum an instrument the way I do the man in my life.
Every once in a while, something pops up and makes me uneasy. Something I’ve thought was buried under the surface.
I get to a point where I have some form of closure. Some part of my past, that I thought was finished, comes back to rear its head. I want to forget a lot of things, and mostly, I can. However, not everything wants to stay underneath.
This time, it’s a legal issue, and it pisses me off, because it is something that should have been settled with my divorce. I am not sure if it’s something that slipped through the cracks, or if it’s a fishing expedition.
Either way, I wish the past would stay in the past.