bad behavior

I used to joke that hotels were the worst place for me to keep myself in line. Traveling for business, a conference, some advocacy, etc. left me wandering the halls of hotels late at night, in lobbies just before the bar closed. Grocery stores were another place I’d find trouble in, whether it was by chance or by design.

I’ve primarily worked in environments over the last ten years that did not afford an opportunity to engage with coworkers. When I had my own business, I wouldn’t hire people I felt attracted to. When I started working out here in Utah, I chose positions without temptation. Places where my exposure to people was limited, where close hours working with one individual on a project would be unusual. I took jobs with practices and owners I had no desire for, at least once turning down a position because I knew I would constantly be distracted by my employer.

I’ve kept myself in check. I don’t turn the acquaintances I want into close friends. I choose where and when I socialize with certain friends of his, those I find intriguing.

I’m slipping.

Not in my immediate practice or department, but I run across so many people I can imagine myself entangled with. Scrubs can do some awful things to my imagination.

Always tamping down my urges is a sure-fire way to have them rise up when I least expect it.

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