cacophony

clashing in my brain, the noises that I hear in the quiet when I talk to him.

the silence in the words when I talk with the one I share.

conflicted by the clatter coming out of my mouth; uncontrollable.

I start to wonder so many things. I question and struggle. Painful conversations juxtaposed with easy, carefree ones. I try to remind myself of eventualities and commitment; rejection and real life. So close, just steps away, lies fear and uncertainty. Pain is inevitable, in one direction or another.